


Not Afraid to Take You Out

by Brachylagus_fandom



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, RWBY
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-09 10:42:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7798660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brachylagus_fandom/pseuds/Brachylagus_fandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nora becomes Remnant's Triwizard champion. Wizarding history gets a bit crooked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Afraid to Take You Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silveradept](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveradept/gifts).



"Are we sure this is a good idea?" Jaune was, understandably, nervous as he looked at their mission briefing. Weiss huffed and crossed her arms.

"The Triwizard Tournament is an ancient magical tradition! No school from Remnant has ever participated before! It's an honor to be asked to go!"

"Weiss, you're the only one of us who knew this existed before this morning," Blake countered. "Why is Ozpin even arranging for us to go?"

"This tournament was also discontinued over a hundred years ago due to a worryingly high death toll," Yang added.

"Ooh, sounds like fun!" Nora (of course) cheered. Ren sighed. "Let's do it!"

"It should be an…  _ interesting _ challenge," Pyrrha said."I agree with Nora."

"I am open to the idea," Ren agreed.

"It would be an honor to go," Weiss declared.

"Could we bring Zwei?" Ruby asked. "If so, yes!"

"I don't know why, but Uncle Qrow wants us out of the country for a while. I say yes," Yang said.

"I'm interested to see what Hogwarts is like." Blake shrugged. "I'll come."

"Fine," Jaune gave up, "we'll go. Besides, how bad could it be?" With that, Beacon's two youngest teams signed up for the mysterious tournament and the future of the wizarding world got a bit crooked.

***

"And the champion for Beacon is… Nora Valkyrie!"

"WHOO! THIS'LL BE SO FUN!!!"

"Why am I suddenly getting this feeling of impending doom?"

"You've never been to tournaments with Nora before."

"She's always like this at tournaments?"

"Pretty much."

***

It took three days for Ren to find him after the announcement.  _ Cheater, _ the others whispered,  _ attention hog, unhinged, going dark. That poor kid, _ Ren thought, _ fourteen and all alone. _ Someone had to look out for the teen, and Ren supposed he was better qualified than most.

"Are you alright?" Harry jumped at the question, clearly not expecting someone to find him.

"Why?" Harry looked around suspiciously, locating exits, trying to read Ren's intent.

"No one else seems to be caring about you, so I suppose I should."

"Why?"

"Everyone needs an ally to watch their back, especially when someone is trying to kill you."

***

"Next up, Beacon's Nora Valkyrie against the Ukrainian Ironbelly!" The audience cheered as Jaune hid his head in his hands. Who thought watching students face dragons was a smart idea?

Cedric was burned. Fleur was burned. Krum had been scratched and smashed six eggs. However, none of them had either been smart (or, more likely, suicidal) enough to use Nora's idea: brute force. Of course, Pyrrha would be testing if those scales really contained metal if things got out of hand, but Nora was on her own until then.

The fight was rather short, especially in comparison to the previous three. Less than five minutes after Bagman had yelled her name, Nora was sitting on the Ironbelly's head, holding her golden egg and pouting.

"Aww, it's broken!" The wizards were gasping in shock at how an eighteen-year-old girl had managed to defeat a six-ton dragon with her bare hands. The guests from Remnant were trying not to laugh; that was their Nora, all right.

"I guess they weren't expecting her Semblance," Ren said casually. "Honestly, this is pretty tame by her standards."

"Thanks for the reminder that I never want Nora as an enemy," Blake replied.

***

"How could I breathe underwater?" Nora asked, looking at their transcription of the clue. "I mean, if it's in the lake, I'll need to breathe underwater to do it." The collected members of Teams RWBY and JNPR sighed.

"We haven't figured that part out yet," Blake admitted.

" _ That's _ what's worrying you? Not that one of us will end up trapped in the lake?" Jaune asked.

"Well, I can't solve that problem, but this one's fixable!"

"We'll keep looking until we find something out."

***

"Where's Ren? He said he would make pancakes…" Nora yawned loudly. The sun was just starting to come up.

"What do you mean, where's Ren? Wasn't he planning with you last night?" Pyrrha asked.

"For a while, but he wanted to try and catch some sleep before the task."

"Well, he never came back past my room. I'm a light sleeper; he would've woken me up," Blake said.

"But if Ren's not with Nora and not in his room…" Jaune gulped.

"The stakes for this task have just been raised."

"Shit." With that, Nora took off running for the Black Lake. After a moment to calm Yang down, the others followed her.

***

"Can Nora really hold her breath long enough for this to work?" Ruby asked. "It's a really deep lake."

"We couldn't find a better solution," Pyrrha reminded her. "This will have to do."

"Can I go kill the judges?" Yang asked.

"Not yet."

"Now?"

"You can kill them once the task is over."

"Okay."

"Weiss, do you still think it's an honor to participate?" Blake asked.

"Not really, but…" Weiss was cut off by Bagman's shout.

"Miss Valkyrie is resurfacing!"

"Go Nora! First one back!"

"Now can I kill the judges?"

"The task is still going on, Yang. Not yet."

***

“What d’you reckon it’s going to be?” Cedric asked. “Fleur keeps going on about underground tunnels; she reckons we’ve got to find treasure.” Harry thought that would be a fairly good idea; it would both be challenging and not explicitly life-threatening.

“That wouldn’t be too bad,” Harry commented. “What do you think it’ll be?”

“Oh, I think it’ll be a race or something.” Harry struggled not to roll his eyes as the approached the Quidditch field, which wasn’t quite so flat and neat anymore. “What’ve they done to it?” Harry squinted to focus on the hedges.

“They’re hedges!” Harry said, excited. He’d always been good at hedge mazes… 

“Hello there!” Bagman called cheerfully. “Well, what d’you think? Growing nicely, aren’t they. Give them a month and Hagrid’ll have them twenty feet high. Don’t worry,” Bagman comforted as he looked at Cedric’s indignant frown, “you’ll have your Quidditch field back to normal once the task is over! Now, I imagine you can guess what we’re making here?” The champions looked at Bagman for a moment, wondering if he was kidding. They weren’t four-year-olds, after all…

“Maze,” Krum grunted finally.

“That’s right,” Bagman replied. “A maze. The third task’s really very straightforward. The Triwizard Cup will be placed in the center of the maze. The first champion to touch it will receive full marks.”

"So the last task is a maze with traps in it? That's it?" Nora was practically pouting.

“There will be obstacles,” Bagman said with the same cheerful tone he had used to announce the dragons and merpeople. “Hagrid is providing a number of creatures… then there will be spells that must be broken… all that sort of thing, you know. Now, the champions who are leading on points will get a head start into the maze. Then Mr. Krum will enter… then Mr. Diggory… then Miss Delacour. But you’ll all be in with a fighting chance, depending on how well you get past the obstacles. Should be fun, eh?” The champions had learned by now that Bagman’s definition of  _ fun _ was objectively awful. “Very well… if you haven’t got any questions, we’ll go back up to the castle, shall we, it’s a bit chilly…” The group quickly dispersed.

"Dealing with monsters is my job! This'll be boring."

"Nora, please stop jinxing us," Harry complained.

***

“Ladies and gentlemen, the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament is about to begin! Let me remind you how the points currently stand! Tied in first place, with 85 points each - Miss Nora Valkyrie of Beacon Institute and Mr. Harry Potter of Hogwarts School!” Bagman cheered. 

"Go Nora! Tied for first!" Yang yelled.

“In second place, with 83 points - Mr. Cedric Diggory, also of Hogwarts School! In third place, with 80 points - Mr. Viktor Krum, of Durmstrang Institute! And in fourth place - Miss Fleur Delacour, of Beauxbatons Academy! So… on my whistle, Harry and Nora! Three, two, one-” Bagman gave a short blast on his whistle and the two champions disappeared. Soon afterwards, Krum, Cedric, and Fleur vanished into the maze as well.

"So now we stare at hedges until someone wins?" Ruby asked.

"They really don't understand entertainment factor," Blake complained.

***

"Together?" Nora asked, looking at the cup. It wasn't particularly big or impressive, especially considering the…  _ thing _ dead at her feet.

"Sure," Harry agreed. "On three. One, two-" Nora and Harry each grabbed a handle and were startled by the jerks in their guts. When the world settled back down, they were standing in a deserted graveyard.

Before either of them could react, a high, cold voice said, "kill the spare." Nora, instead of falling to the ground when the green bolt hit her, merely grinned and pulled out Magnhild.

"Oh, fun time!" Nora cheered, ignoring the gaping looks of shock on everyone else's faces. Less than five minutes after they disappeared, Harry and Nora were back in the stadium, Pettigrew and incredibly ugly baby in tow.

_ "Well," _ Barty Crouch Jr. thought as he was led out in cuffs,  _ "that didn't go as planned." _

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Caffeine off the Season 2 soundtrack.
> 
> Nora's semblance involves channeling electricity, allowing her to survive. Much of this is just unrepentant crack for the dragon scene.
> 
> Can I just say that you have an excellent taste in characters? Also, if you haven't seen it, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, especially the Briggs arc (episodes 33-43) has some characters right up your alley.


End file.
